Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘ Chrysler Beagle’?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths . What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please .
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Photo Courtesy of Fredi Olson
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog …
1. I will not eat the cat’s food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc . , just because I like the way they smell.
3 . The litter box is not a cookie jar.
4 . The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
5 . The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff
6 . I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
7 . Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
8 . I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
9 . I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11 . I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12 . The cat is not a ’squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
P . S . Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?
Courtesy of Paul Fite - The Fite's Blog