What is Old?

"OLD" IS WHEN.... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer is, "Pick one, I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN.... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....You are cautioned to slow down by... the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN...."Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fibre today.

"OLD" IS WHEN...."Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

ENJOY!!! 

Author Unknown


 

Trapped Drunk Driver Opens Another Beer?

If your a drunk driver trapped in your car after an accident, should you open and drink another beer? See the story here at Oddly Enough

To Tight Things

Clothes are too tight things.

Binding and holding in place

The guilty pleasures.


By Elaine Lockard

Look Beyond...

Look beyond the edge.

See horizons in making

Your stand with your voice.


By Elaine Lockard

With Eyes Wide Open...

With eyes wide open, I see I can help those:

• more in need
• blind to truth
• numb to their heart
• know the unknowable
• touch their god within.

 

By Elaine Lockard

 

My Unrealistic Promise...

Is to always be more than I am.

To dream further than what seems reasonable and possible.

To go that extra step everyday and know that I have achieved more than I dared hope.

To climb that hill in the distance without a care in the world.

To open myself to universal possibilities rather than settling for the mundane, everyday ones of earthly existence.

My unrealistic promise is to always be more than I ever dreamed to be to myself and everyone else I come in contact with.


By Elaine Lockard

I Build the Universe...

A step at a time with my sweat.

I toil everyday to achieve all that I can.

I accomplish what’s in my reach and plan for more to come the next day.

I live a life rich with joy and know all my efforts are for the greater good.


By Elaine Lockard

My Power Comes From Within...

From the Creators’ place deep inside. Tempered with my skill and knowledge, it shines in all I do. It resonates across the airs, calling to others to come, join and play;


Be who you are, relish your uniqueness!


Be your powerful self, live your deserved life!


Have joy and rejoice for who you are, a child of the Creator within!


By Elaine Lockard

The Color I Wear

Blue, how about you?
Green, polished with a sheen.
Yellow, are you a good fellow?
Red, pick me instead!
Black, do you have a mac?
Brown, all about town.
Pink, why make you think?
White, go fly your kite!

By Elaine Lockard

Life...The Real Question

Life, in all its diversity.
Life, in its universiality.
Life, is a speciality.
Life.......?

By Elaine Lockard

Truth Sets Me Free

Truth sets me free
To play and be me.

Truth sets me free.
Yea, Yea for me!

Truth sets me free.
In stillness, I can be.

Truth sets me free
To be all I can be.

By Elaine Lockard

Authenticity

Myself as I am

Knowing all that is meant now

For me to become.

By Elaine Lockard

Freedom With Peace

Inner Solitude;

Ocean of feelings come forth

Releasing all blocks.

By Elaine Lockard

I Walk Alone on a Path of Pain

I walk alone

On a path of pain,

Not knowing my gain.

Seeing only the smallest measure

Of all that I have to treasure.

I know love is for me,

I know life sets me free.

I see light at the end,

A time for me to lend

All my strength to carry me

To all the healing waiting happily.

By Elaine Lockard

Glorious Insults

"He had delusions of adequacy."


- Walter Kerr



"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

- Winston Churchill



"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

- Clarence Darrow



"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'

- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

In the Year 1909...

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.


Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.



Five leading causes of death were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza

2. Tuberculosis

3. Diarrhea

4. Heart disease

5. Stroke



The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea Hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school..

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health'

( Shocking? DUH! )


Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A..!

Plus one more sad thought; 95 percent of the taxes we have now did not exist in 1909!

WOW!!  What a difference a century makes!!!