Legal Humor

The below dialogue is from a book entitled "Disorder in the American Courts". These are actual, verbatim exchanges that occurred between attorney and witness.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
________________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
________________________________________________________


Oh how I would have loved to have been present for these exchanges!! LOL
Your not suppose to talk or make noise in a courtroom. I can just see the people trying hard not to bust a gut by not laughing. Way funny!!!! I will post more later, so be on the lookout!!

Elaine L.

Striped Icebergs and Frozen Waves

The most amazing pictures of striped icebergs and frozen waves. Nature never ceases to amaze me as to the incredible beauty it can create. Here is the link to view all of the pictures:

http://tinyurl.com/dmgqxn

Elaine L.

Angels Explained by Children

I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold.
-Gregory, 5


Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it
-Olive, 9


It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
-Matthew, 9


Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
-Mitchell, 7

-from Anonymus

My Mom... My Inspiration

I am sad today, Mother's Day, since my mom passed away a week ago on May 1, 2009.  She was a brave, strong woman who has dealt with polio and being in a wheelchair for the last 52 years.  She never let her disability get in the way of what she wanted.  She always found a way to accomplish any task she set her mind to.  Even in her passing, she was fully aware and awake and made the decision, on her own, without reservation or tears, to have herself removed from respiratory support, refuse any comforting oxygen, and passed, without complaint, to her eternal life.  I was privileged and honored to be with her for this decision and her passing.  I will always look up to her as my hero and inspiration throughout my life and hope that I can meet my struggles head on as she did.

FLY FREELY with the angels, mom, and know that you are greatly missed and loved!!!

Your loving daughter,  Elaine L.

Joke of the day...

Help Wanted - Telepath
You know where to apply!

Elaine L.

Thought for the day.....

The person who thinks abundance, speaks abundance, and acts abundantly, no matter how much they lack while performing such demonstrations, they are "given" an outpouring of the "stuff," far in excess of what they could ever spend.

~~The Universe at TUT.com